waiting for dinner

this may have been evident to everyone around me, but i just kind of realized today that i want to live a simple life. i'm so exhausted with living in a big city, working my ass off to get to some ultimate glamourous goal. i just want to get married to someone nice and have a family. and maybe not have to work at all. i'm just sick of focusing on myself. i'm sick of waiting for something good to happen but i also don't have the energy to figure out anymore how to achieve what i want. i want to exist in the moment, bake pies, go to the mall, worry about nothing. i don't even really need riches, i just need to not worry, and perhaps afford the occasional $400 shoe or dress. i wish guys wanted this too but they don't. they are selfish. maybe it's just sunday.